Write Something

September 14, 2009

Oh my god I need to write a blog post. I have so many TOPICS but nothing really to add – like all I would be doing is a long recommended reading list and my commentary. That’s just dumb. Especially since I don’t have an audience.

So, a blogger that I really like recommends that when you are stuck for writing a post, to use the prompt: ‘What Pisses Me Off?’ to get the ball rolling. So I do. I start a new paragraph and write it down:

What Pisses Me Off?

The creative juices start to flow, but nothing easy comes. Eventually…

Me procrastinating. And not getting anything accomplished and feeling like I never get anything done. Like I’m a letdown, a disappointment – but not because I don’t think I can do something special at all – but more like a feeling that I’m not ready.

I need more time to prepare. To study. To organize.

I’m always doubling back making more lists, more notes, more reading. But I am doing it so much it goes beyond just practice, it becomes my life. The saying: Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans applies to the fullest extent possible.

I had to submit writing samples to a job that I was applying for the other week. What I just wrote above about my life, applies to all my former writing. I remember researching for all these projects for school – hours online reading and taking notes. Knowing there was a story in there. But once I start to write – I clam up – I choke.

I need caffeine. I go to espn.com. I tinker with my fantasy teams.

Above all I read and take more notes. And once I finally get to it and string together my thoughts, my notes into some sort of paper – it turns into ehh, whatever. Nothing that I’m proud of.  It’s good enough to submit for a grade. But to get paid for? Too long, unedited, amateurish. On top of this my work is late all of the time due to the extra garabeg reading that I do. I have to bullshit to get an extension – even though I put in enough man hours to build a tank.

I have produced some good work. And it always feels good to do so. But the prerequisite to this, is to produce something at all.

So I’m going to start writing and posting on this blog. I have a long list of to-dos for what I want to write on it. But we’ll see if I get to them. Because as I have learned the last few years and to paraphrase – a blog is what happens when you’re busy planning out posts. I’ll try to make sure I don’t just plan, I produce.

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